Oh My Goodness!!!

If I were to tell you what I went through to get to Atlanta yesterday...you'd never believe me! I almost didn't come at all!
If it weren't for my family and friends calling me and texting me...YELLING AT ME...I would still be in my bed in NYC, MISERABLE!!
Why would it be so difficult for me for me to take a flight to Atlanta to see my family you ask?!?!
Well, that would be because of the events that took place the night prior to me leaving. I'd tell you the ENTIRE story, but I think it would just make me go into rage mode again...IT WAS REALLY BAD!! So, I'll give you the extremely short version....
MY BOSS IS A CRAZY, PHSYCO, ASSHOLE!!!
He started this huge argument with me over the fact that I didn't give him a freakin' Christmas card! Apparently, he thought that over the Christmas holiday...I should have thought of him, at least a little bit. WHAT?!?!!? Why would I have done that? He sent me a text message on Christmas Day saying "Merry Xmas"...and so, I copy and pasted the EXACT same message to him.
I think that was more than a sufficient thought! I was with my family, friends, boyfriend....sorry, my boss & work, was the furthest thing from my mind!!
When I got back to work, he did give me a gift...a gift card to Macy's...I thought that was nice of him. I mean, I wasn't expecting anything, so, I said thank you...I appreciate it...and put it away. I wasn't taught to expect gifts...or that it was necessary for me to give EVERYONE I know, including my boss, a gift. You give because you want to give. If I liked him, I would have given him something like a bottle of wine or something...but, I DON'T!!!
Since when are you to expect to receive a gift from someone?!?

Anyway...the minor argument turned into him firing me at 12am! YES, HE FIRED ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE HIM A DAMN CARD!
ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THAT!!!
Then...the next day, he calls me @ 5:46am....SO FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE...to apologize and say that I can have my job back.
By this time, I had already made myself sick from stress...and my anxiety was in full gear.
I broke out in hives, was throwing up, aching all over, and was sick to my stomach!

But, after resting, most of the day...and listening to my LOVED ONE'S...I re-packed my bags, went to the airport, and was able to catch a flight via stand by.

While I had to recoup all of today...I feel so good that my people's were so adamant about me getting up, leaving NYC, and relaxing with my family. Had they not been that way, I would have fallen into serious depression, and possibly even hurt someone!

Blog Posts

I'm not sure when I did it, but at some point I must have gone back and posted some of my "In Draft" posts. I'm saying this because now I only have 11 posts in draft, out of 199 posts....WHO'S THE WOMAN?!?! I AM, I AM, LOL!!!!
I still have catching up to do with the other 11, but at least I'm working on it!
LATER!!!!

Sad & Disappointed

I can't say that I'm completely surprised, but I truly wanted to be wrong about her!
My sister, the middle child from my father, has always shown signs of depression, I just never thought that it would be this bad. Last night my step-mother pulled me aside, in tears, and told me that my sister has been cutting.
WHAT?!? NO, NOT MY SISTER!
I asked her how she knew, she said that my youngest sister told my father, and they saw the scabbed cuts on her wrist. I decided to meet my father outside, while he was walking the dog, to speak to him about it. After all, I love my step-mother, but she is high in dramatics, so I was convinced that there must be some part of the story that she missed. When I made it to my father, I was told that the version of the story that I was given was, in fact, true!
What now!? This is something that no one is truly prepared for, but I am writing this post out of deepest concern and am seeking some advice, other than the obvious, on what I should do now.
Any comment/suggestion would be of GREAT HELP!
THANKS!!!

I Got In Trouble Today

I haven't been able to make any of my scheduled appointments. Why? I'm not sure...there is some kind of disconnect, but I'm not sure where it is. I've missed about three weeks of therapy, and any other appointment you can think of...I didn't show! My laundry even got dropped off a liitle over 2 weeks ago, and I have yet to pick it up. I sure hope they still have my clothes there.

I decided to make myself go to my pdoc appointment today. I mean, after all, I was running low on my meds, lol. I know, funny, but not funny! Anywho...she told me that any other patient would have been discharged by the 3rd no show. Oh, did I mention, I don't call in, show up, answer the phone, or return my messages...because, I don't check them? My pdoc was a bit pissed to say the least...she even talked loudly at me. :-O

She said that had I missed my appointment today, and not called, she would have sent a truck to my house to come and take me...

I DON'T WANNA BE TAKEN!!!

The sad part of all of this is I have no reason, nor excuse, for why I've been doing this. While I wasn't showing up to these appointments, it totally made sense to me, in my head. What's even more sad is what I was doing at the times I should have been elsewhere.

I know..so, now you want to know what I was doing...Well, to be COMPLETELY HONEST....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! For the most part, I beleive I was in my bed, doing nothing, asking myslef if I should have gotten out of my bed to make the appointment.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!?!?

What Is It?!?!

I'm not sure what my issue is! I'm just unable to sit and blog. Between racey thoughts & anxiety (which is more than clear), I don't know which is worse! I haven't been able to read all of your blogs either. I did some catching up just now, but noticed that alot of you are in the same still position that I'm in...this sucks!!!