Friday, December 21, 2007

Sad & Disappointed

I can't say that I'm completely surprised, but I truly wanted to be wrong about her!
My sister, the middle child from my father, has always shown signs of depression, I just never thought that it would be this bad. Last night my step-mother pulled me aside, in tears, and told me that my sister has been cutting.
WHAT?!? NO, NOT MY SISTER!
I asked her how she knew, she said that my youngest sister told my father, and they saw the scabbed cuts on her wrist. I decided to meet my father outside, while he was walking the dog, to speak to him about it. After all, I love my step-mother, but she is high in dramatics, so I was convinced that there must be some part of the story that she missed. When I made it to my father, I was told that the version of the story that I was given was, in fact, true!
What now!? This is something that no one is truly prepared for, but I am writing this post out of deepest concern and am seeking some advice, other than the obvious, on what I should do now.
Any comment/suggestion would be of GREAT HELP!
THANKS!!!

4 Other Thoughts:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Amber. I guess my main advice would be to let her know you care what she is FEELING and not just about what she is DOING, if you know what I mean.

I have cut since I was 14 so I know how insidious it can be - I still battle it regularly, but slowly I'm winning the fight.

Can I give you some links? The first one is a page on my website... the others I have found helpful over the years.

On Souls Edge
SIARI
Silent Screams
SI - A Struggle

I truly hope everything goes okay for you and your sister and family. Take care...

P.S. I've missed you blogging not as often :)

xXx

Robert said...

Please don't worry! This is not a life-threatening problem!

There are websites and forums which will be able to help you more than I can here. Browse self-harm and cutting.

But as a first fix, here's the little I know about your sister's problem. Btw, my daughter, now 23 years old, had this problem between the ages of 16 & 20.

For most, this is not a deliberately dangerous habit and few come to any major harm. The biggest risk is infection. The self-harmer is carrying out an activity where they are in complete control. Quite often they feel that their life is totally OUTSIDE their control and this is a way of coping with that.

What to do?....You should, of course, try to get your sister to see someone to arrange suitable therapy. You also need to make sure that the cuts are kept clean and infection-free. It's usually best NOT to show disgust, disappointment, anger or fear...or to try to get the self-harmer to stop this. Self-harm is a form of self-help (paradoxically) and if you take this away, you can make the underlying issues much worse.

Your sister really needs an empathetic non-judgmental friend. Could that be you?

I hope that this helps/reassures you. Good luck to you both!

Amber Anique said...

Thank you for the links Rylah!!
I'm gonna check them out asap!! I've missed posting..I'm gonna get on it soon!!!

Butterfly said...

How can we make the world happier? So many people are dealing with depression, hopelessness, frustration.

I don't like this at all. What she may need is a "big girl day" with "big sis Butterfly."