The Most Scared EVER!

I think one of the things that scare me the most is my weight loss. I weigh 122lbs & wear a size zero.
It's both scarey & frustrating. I can't fit anything that I own. Everything is falling off of my ass. Thank God I can play it off with the hundreds of pairs of shoes that I own, but still. I have spent alot of money on my clothing, only for me to go through a good portion of my clothes & find that it appears as if most of my clothing is a size 8.

I guess I could use this as an excuse to go shopping...Yes?

How I'm Doing

Not good....

Considering going off of medication. I don't want to be this way forever!!! I can't tell if I was happier off of meds than on. But, I know it was different. I had more energy, I was always on time, I smiled alot..even when I wasn't completely happy.
I didn't sleep alot, but I know when I did, finally, fall asleep, I was rested.

Lately, I haven't even been able to complete a complete thought, which is why I haven't been able to blog.

I just had something that I really wanted to say...but, I forgot what it was...so, I'll be back when I remember.

I Love Them Both

There is no room to question my love of my boyfriend or his son!! I LOVE THEM BOTH!!!
BUT, WHAT ABOUT ME?!?! WHAT ABOUT MY HAPPINESS?!?!? WHO'S LOOKING OUT FOR ME?!?!

It Wasn't An Impulse

It's something that I know I need to do for me to get where I want to be.
Today, I went and re-enrolled for school.
Here's my thought....I work down the street from my job. Why can't I leave a few minutes early for school?
My biggest concern is my meds....& how this SEVERE schedule & life change will affect me. This is something that I NEED TO COMPLETE!
I've never really completed anything...I do have a little bit of a support system now, but I know I can't count on them ALL OF THE TIME!
This is a CHANCE that I'm taking....
WISH ME LUCK!!!

The Results Are In....

I officially weight...120lbs.

I don't know how I did it!
I promise you, it wasn't on purpose!!!
I make extra effort to only eat junk!!!
My pdoc said that maybe I should start thinking about changing my meds. She said that it's the Concerta that is making me lose so much weight. While I know this is true, I REFUSE TO TAKE ANYTHING ELSE!!! I REFUSE TO STOP TAKING WHAT WORKS FOR ME, AND BE USED A FREAKING TEST DUMMY, AGAIN!!!!

SO...what now?!

I don't know...but, Concerta works...THIS I DO KNOW!!!

WHAT AM I DOING?!?

I DUNNO!!!

I haven't been to the pdoc in a month. Yeah, I know, I should have gone. But, I really didn't feel like going. I'm just not in the mood to discuss all f the things that are going wrong. I don't feel like having someone MAKE me face the realities that is my life. I'd just rather deal with them when I'm ready. When will I be ready? Who knows! But, I know I need to come up with a good excuse by Monday. I have to see the pdoc & tdoc on Monday in order to re-up my meds....SHUCKS....

The scariest part for me, I think, is the weigh in...I know I've lost a lot of weight, but I'll find out the actual number at the docs office. The last time I weighed myself, I was 125lbs, in a size 4....well...I'm a bit smaller than that now.
OK, "a bit" i an understatement...I don't know how much I weigh, but I do know my size is between 0 & 1.... :-0


Is that REALLY BAD?!?

My weight loss is noticeable, however, family, friends, co-workers, and my "bf" claim that I don't look sick...just very small.

I'll post pics, before & after soon...and you can tell me.