Going Where?

I look back on the last two weeks and start to think about my efforts, over all, to try to make myself mentally stable. Is it worth all of the side effects that I have encountered? When I wasn't fully aware of my illness, was I better off? Some think that ignorance is bliss...I believe that ignorance is stupid! Which is why I took the time out to seek treatment...but, I can't see where I'm improving. I am less apt to throw things at someone in the fit of rage, at least for the first 10 seconds while I figure out if it should be a round object thrown to the head or a pointy object toward the left eye. I guess that's a step in the right direction, right?
I guess wishful thinking states that there should be some kind of miracle pill, just for me, that fixes everything.

WHERE IS MY DAMN PILL!!!????
I just want one, and only one! I'm not being greedy! I just want to be "normal". Where people that know me don't have to take into consideration what my reaction would be before inviting me to an amusement park that has long lines, or to a play that lasts for more than 15 minutes, or even to the park...where I know for a fact that there are bugs....I still have no clue as to why people try convince me otherwise!

*Will I yell at a woman if she cuts in front of me and steps on my shoes...YES, but only because she didn't say excuse me or apologize for stepping on my shoe.
*Will I yell at the man who is in front of me, in his car, just sitting there, and the light is green....NO, I'll pull up next to him, come to a complete stop, and stare dead in his face with an expression that clearly says "I dare you to say anything but I'm sorry".
*I think those are huge improvements!!!

NO? BUT, I DIDN'T SPIT ON ANY OF THEM!!!