Honesty!

One can not afford to be mentally ill and completely honest at the same time. You have to be extremely cautious, and understand the possible consequences.
As "brilliant" as I am, I decided to break down yesterday, walk into my pdoc's office and tell EVERYTHING! I MEAN...EVERYTHING!
The result was them suggesting I be hospitalized...ummmm, that wasn't the exact response I was looking for. I'm not sure of what I thought was going to happen, as a matter of fact, I think my thought process was since I was getting noticeably worse that if I told the complete truth, that maybe they could fix it! Well, that certainly backfired on me! Who told me to go and think for myself anyway?
They also went on to tell me that my WBC (white blood cell) count was "alarmingly low"...I don't know about you, but when someone uses the word alarm in a sentence to me...I tend to get "ALARMED"! Apparently, normal is to 9, 10, or 11...my count is 2.8. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!?! AM I DYING NOW?!?!? ON TOP OF ME BEING MENTAL, NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DYING?!?! (Btw...That was me panicing) I knew what I was going to do as soon as I got home...I was getting on my computer, and going to google.com and ask.com. They couldn't, or should I say wouldn't, tell me how concerned I should be. What they did say was I needed to go back to the hospital at 8:30am, this morning, to have my blood work redone. WHATEVER!!!!
As for my meds...I haven't been sleeping over the last couple of weeks, so they told me to take 2 Xanax pills along with 1 Trazadone, & I should be able to sleep. I'm going off of Celexa because we still have no clue as to what it's doing to me other than reversing my OCD, which has caused me to be, in my opinion, a nasty person. Now, they want to put me on Prozac..hmmmm, I'll think about it, but the odds are not in Prozac's favor! Strattera...well, it's just as I thought it would be, for me! A DAMN WASTE OF MEDS!!! It hasn't done anything for me, so I refuse to take anymore of it.
Basically, what I was told was that I couldn't have any other meds until my new blood work came in...and so, my rage is taking over...I've flipped out on 3 people already today, and I think I owe 2 people an episode.
This next week should be very interesting!