I am a Guinea Pig
I am so sick and tired of the trial and error with meds!!!
I went into my pdoc's office on Monday, w/o an appointment, I even passed on letting the receptionist call to inform her that I was there. I just walked my ass right in there! Placed the devils pills, Lithium, on her desk and told her that I refuse to take anymore of those satanic pills!! I meant that!!! I told her that I would sooner go back on Ritalin and risk psychosis than continue to get fatter by the day! I weighed myself that day...I was 5 pounds heavier than I was the previous Wednesday that I received the medication....by then I noticed that my stomach had already started to decrease, which means, in my head, that I must have weighed more when my stomach was bigger.
My pdoc had the audacity to point out the fact that the majority of the patients in the office were significantly over weight.
So, what was she trying to say? That I had a choice...be fat or be mentally unstable?
I told her that maybe that was something that others were ok with, but being over weight is not an option for me!
She offered Depakote as an alternative.
I asked her what the side effects were...she said some weight gain...but there was a chance of hair loss...WHAT?!??!
She actually compared the side effects to chemotherapy....that was a no no!!!
So, I'm either mentally unstable or over weight bald person?!?!?
I know that my feelings about this is a bit exaggerated, but I always think of everything in the worse case scenario...I understand that every person's body reacts differently, but the side effects that are being explained to me are just not something that I can deal with at this point.
The end of our conversation is where I stated that she needed to find something that didn't have the side effects of weight gain/hair loss....even if she did a combo of meds that balanced it out...then I left!
I went the next 4 days w/o meds...was a bit lost...still holding a lot of water weight...confined myself to my bedroom...but all in all, felt better about confronting my doc.
1 Other Thoughts:
You know, I take Lithium and am on a diet, and it slows down any weight loss efforts I make. I hate this stuff but Depakote is even worse.
You were right to refuse the pills. I gained 60 pounds when they put me on those two drugs. Some weight loss? I think not.
You have inspired me to change my meds too. There has to be something else. Right?
Post a Comment