This Past Week

It was a pretty good week for me, but trying. But, I made it through. I had my doubts but I did it! My step-mother finally came back home, so, mommie duty was done for me. Oddly enough, I enjoyed myself while she was gone. Not that I didn't miss her, but it seemed the house functioned a lot smoother with her not being there. Also, I pulled out a talent that I kept hidden, even from myself...COOKING...I did a few days of cooking and my family actually enjoyed, and so did I. I actually woke up each day trying to decide what I would cook for my family. WEIRD!!

On the day my step-mother was to come back home, I drove both of my sisters to their respective schools and just as I was dropping my youngest sister off, the car dies.
It wouldn't have been half bad if I had showered and put on some decent clothes...I was wearing flip flops, gray capri sweatpants, and an over sized neon orange t-shirt that had a LARGE pic of a guy lifting weights on the back. I was a HOT MESS!!! To top it off, I was sitting in the car, in the heat, no a/c, in a tow away zone from 7:30am to 11am...I'm proud of myself because I NEVER EVEN SPAZZED! Now that's an achievement!

I've been on and off my meds this week. Funny, once you finally get meds, you pick and choose what day you take them. I doubled up on the Ritalin LA(equaling 40mg) a couple of days and it sorta worked...it worked better than 20mg. I haven't been taking the Celexa. I have no excuse for it, but I haven't. I've been falling asleep all by myself, with and without someone next to me. YAY ME!!! I'll use the Trazodone when necessary. The effects of me taking them is a bit much for a normal day...knocks me out for a lot more than 8 hours. So, when insomnia strikes again, which I'm positive it will, I'll start taking them again.

I need to be on them 100%, but I want to believe that I can do it on my own.
Reality...I CAN'T, BUT I REALLY WANT TO TRY.

I'm going to take them, with the exception of the Trazodone, EVERY DAY...FROM NOW ON!
I'LL BE A GOOD GIRL, I PROMISE!