Getting support from family - NO

Getting support from FRIENDS - NO

Anyone understanding or attempting to help - NO

Do I give a shit? - NOOOO!!!!

I'm tired of explaining, tired of justifying, tired of being judged, tired of crying, tired of racing thoughts ALL DAY EVERY DAY, even more tired of people thinking that they are better than me because they've overcome obstacles in their illness, tired of trusting people who don't deserve my trust, tired of people thinking that I am not trying!!!!

PLAIN 'OLE TIRED!!!! I'm being told that I should do this on my own, when in fact I am. I live with my parents, but I help pay the bills...now that money has been tapped out, I am looking for another job, but my focus doesn't allow me to do it for an extended period of time. I don't have anyone to take care of me, pay my bills, or offer any support...only judgement.....which disgusts me!!!

I don't judge anyone...to each his own...I love my "friends", and even when we were sick at the same time, I WAS THERE!!!! I NEVER PASSED JUDGEMENT, I WAS JUST THERE FOR SUPPORT...WHATEVER WAS NEEDED, OR NOT NEEDED!

I don't need anyone telling me who I should & shouldn't have in my life everyday! I don't do that to them, even if I KNOW THE RELATIONSHIPS ARE WRONG, OR UNHEALTHY!

Me being alone equates to ALOT OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND EVEN SOME ATTEMPTS!

IS THERE ANYONE THAT'S WILLING TO BE THERE FOR ME? DOES ANYONE EVEN CARE? I'm trying not to run away from my "issues", and not pretend as if my illness doesn't exist.

I don't want a cure, I don't want to act or pretend....I'm stuck because I want to manage it!

It may take me longer than it took others, but, that doesn't make them any better than me...& it doesn't give anyone the right to judge me!!!

My illness doesn't allow me to focus on one thing, I focus on EVERYTHING....SO, NO, I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT I WANT TO DO! IF I KNEW, I'D BE DOING IT!!!