A Mess

Ok, so I haven't able to give you an update because I am ALL OVER THE PLACE!! But, that's a whole other story!
So, here it is...
I finally went back to the doctor on Friday. My pdoc was actually there. She had me waiting for 30 minutes. Right before I decided to leave, because CLEARLY THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHO I WAS...my pdoc came out and said that she could see me. WHATEVER!!
Of course, she asked me how I was feeling...and I told her the truth! I've decided to go off of meds because I don't wanna be treated like a guinea pig anymore!
What I found out, via Amber trial and error...ALWAYS TELL YOUR P/TDOC THE TRUTH!!! AT LEAST ABOUT HOW YOUR FEELING! Now, I'm going to be selective of the things I tell them, as far as my experiences, but, if I feel like shit...THEY WILL KNOW ABOUT IT!! I feel like they are the one's making me feel this way anyway, so someone needs to tell them about themselves!
How I handled it - I spazzed on them, and told them EXACTLY how I was feeling, but I never threatened them (which is HUGE for me)! Every chance I got a chance to, I flipped. I made NO EFFORT TO CONTROL MY FEELINGS!! Why? Because every time they met with me, I was controlling every emotion, every feeling...and speaking VERY CAREFULLY, as to not alarm them. I seemed extremely under control, and aware of everything surrounding me. In other words...I continued "the act" as I do on a daily basis.
I have had enough of the act...and even more, I was through with experimenting with different meds!
So, when I went in on Friday....I told my pdoc, No Concerta, AMBER NO TALK-IE!!! IN OTHER WORDS, GIVE ME WHAT THE HELL I ASK FOR BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING!!!!
My pdoc said that she was very concerned about me and to have a seat in the waiting area while she places a few calls.
A few minutes later, she came back and said that she pushed harder, and she'll be able to start me on Concerta in a week!

Honestly, I believe I could've gotten it sooner, but I was scared to be committed so I played being "normal".

I'M ON MY WAY TO "AMBER NORMALCY"!!! YAY MEEE!!!!

She just better have my meds on Friday. I've been off meds too long, and I can't be held responsible for my actions if she tells me they changed their minds about the Concerta!