Monday, July 21, 2008

Night Time Meds

I spend my nights in constant fear, crying myself to sleep. If I don't take the meds, I don't fall asleep. Now, it's worse!
I have to go in for testing tomorrow...have you ever been so scared, you can feel the fear in your heart? IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP...MAYBE EVEN BE A LITTLE "NORMAL".
I didn't bring any of my meds with me tonight, I have no clue what I was thinking, or if I was thinking.
I walk around with a face, as to say "everything is ok", but it's not! I've informed family & friends as if it's not a big deal...but it really is. I'M TERRIFIED!!!
I don't want to scare them...so, I put the face on. But, it doesn't help me AT ALL!!
WHY ME?!?
I can tell you one thing, if I had my fucking meds with me, I'd be sleeping & not thinking of my fear, & not crying myself to sleep right now.

1 Other Thoughts:

Butterfly said...

We were both going through it at the same time this week.

I so wish I couldn't relate.