WHAT NOW?!?!
If nothing else, I can honestly say that my life has been an interesting one.
Yesterday, I went to the hospital to get the results of my tests from Monday, only to find out that I have 2 malignant tumors & 1 benign tumor in my breast.
I think it's fair to say, at this point, that I can't catch a break!!!
I told my stepfather about it, and he was, of course, at a loss for words. He did tell me, like everyone else I had to notify, that "we'll get through this". WHO THE HELL IS "WE"?!?
I have to "get through this"....just as I had to get the results BY MYSELF!!!
I understand what everyone is trying to tell me, but, all of this is happening to ME, not WE!!!
Told my parents, in NYC, when they got home. My father hasn't spoken to me since, my stepmother doesn't know what to say.
Spoke to my mother, who lives in Vegas, she sounded upset & had to get off the phone.
My "support", or the "We" in this has completely shut down. IT'S JUST ME!!
I have breast cancer & I'm mentally ill...not thinking that this is a GREAT combo!
I wonder.....how is one supposed to react when they find out someone they love has cancer?
Do you think they should be informed at all?
6 Other Thoughts:
INDISTINCT (poem)
Indistinct. Undefinable. This vast conception
of what was, is and may be.
My mind becomes focused and then
bursts apart violently, falling "back"
into a realm of fear and superstition.
I gaze "inwardly" and then "without"
to places and realms
that I cannot or will not grasp.
I find reconciliation difficult...
perhaps it is only the desire to recognize or "feel"
these concepts that daunts me most.
Surely (and there be a laugh!)
all has already been, is and will continue to be.
These thoughts are perhaps the attempt
of the Universe to rationalize Itself...
what lofty thought this be!
Such Beauty, such Horror, yet these too are
the sly conceptions of a simian mind.
What more can I do as this man?
I hardly think "existence" depends on my
resolve, save for the flesh of my own sorry corpse.
Perhaps there is "Destiny" beyond flesh,
perhaps not.
Yet I think I shall follow the selfsame path of
Ramses, Aristotle and Mohommed...
into a realm unimaginable, into Nothing.
-D.C. Massey (The Mad Celt)
I WISH YOU PEACE AND JOY...Dale
I'm so sorry to hear all that. There's not much I can say really, other than I send my love and best wishes.
~Shiv
You need to be very strong at this moment,this disease can be curb out by treatment successfully.Start making research on it and you will find some way.
You got really positive attitude toward life.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Amber. It's tough being mentally ill but I find (personally) that physical illnesses take so much of my mental energy that I usually don't have anything else left for my mental illness.
As for your support base, they're likely in shock right now. Hopefully they will come around soon.
Lmbo at we vs. me.
So true.
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