Today

I decided to go to church today, As a matter of fact, I was prepared to the extent that I spent 3 hours yesterday flat ironing my hair so that I couldn't use my hair being a mess as an excuse. I told myself, and anyone who would listen that I was going to the second service, 10:30AM, and any plans that were to be made needed to be scheduled for early/late afternoon.
So, what happened?
Well, let's start with, I woke up on time, hit my alarm, then went back to sleep. When I did wake up, it was 11am. I made a few phone calls, then sent a few texts. Then, as recommended by my bff, I got out of bed and made the decision to go to 3rd service, 1:00pm.
I did it...I made it to 3rd service. I was proud of myself for doing it!
Then...IT HAPPENED...I was only in the sanctuary for about 20 minutes...then, I left. I COULDN'T STAY! I FELT EVERY WHERE, AND MY BRAIN WAS ON WARP SPEED! I tried to stay, then started to cry. Why cry? OUT OF PURE FRUSTRATION! WHY THE HELL AM I ON MEDS IF THE SHIT ISN'T HELPING ME????? WHY POLLUTE MY INSIDES, AS JAY WOULD SAY, IF THE FUCKING MEDS AREN'T GOING TO WORK?
I'm home now, pissed, and mad at the entire world! Right now is a good time for everyone to stay away from me. Maybe we'll chat later!