Friday, April 13, 2007

My Therapist

She's been pretty consistant with calling me each week to see if I'm going to make it in for my appointment. I've stood her up about 5 sessions in a row. Intentionaly and unintentionally. I want to go each week, but I can't. It's unexplainable to people that are unlike me. This week was different. She didn't call me, didn't leave a message or send me a text. I don't think she cares anymore. I actually give her props for sticking it out for as long as she did. depression has taken over, and I allowed it to. I didn't even put up a fight. She was very good for me, but I couldn't tell her what was real for me. Forty five minutes isn't enough time for me to get everything out, but it helped me get through from week to week, session to session. I'm going to fight this, and I'm going to go back into therapy...just need some time to get myself right.

2 Other Thoughts:

Anonymous said...

you need to go, just like i need to go. I need to find a therapist.

ashmc2 said...

Don’t fight it. Just do it. You know it is good for you. You just said so.

I still haven’t done it yet. Very soon I will. (If the asshats would give me a callback.) I have high hopes. It will seem weird to open my heart and soul to anyone. There is much that I won’t reveal no matter how close we get. But I know it will help raise my self-efficacy.

You sound like you have sincere, caring T-doc; done loss the mutual respect that you likely have built. Like anyone they can only take rejection so many times. Go, you will love yourself for it. It will feel some of that emptiness that is eating away your resolve.

Later, Ash out…