Something

Today was a better day. I had a few appointments to go to today, so that was a reason for me to get up and out. I took a Ritalin, so it made me much more productive. I finished the rest of my assignments and even returned a few emails. Overall, it was a decent day. I remember when I was most happy and productive. It was when I was working, completely on meds, and in therapy. That was late last year. Since then, I have quit my job, I only take meds when I know I have to leave my house, and I haven't been to therapy in almost 2 months. I have no idea why I am like this, and I now see that it's not the healthiest situation to be emersed in, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I don't regret leaving my job, had I not, suicide would have been an option. What I do regret is the decision that I made to take a "break". Although it was much needed, now I find it hard to get out of this. I was offered quite a few positions, but refused them all because I could see that it wasn't going to have me headed in the right direction. Instead...I stopped looking. And then, I became a hermit. So, I'm giving myself one month...and only one month, to get back out there. I can do it! I've done it many times before. But, I may need help keeping focused. I don't want a full time job. I'm actually considering taking on two part time jobs just so I don't get bored. Bordem makes me leave people and places with the quickness. Wish me luck!!! :)