Medicare & SSI

All of my pdoc and tdoc visits have ended in this conversation...Have you decided to apply for Medicare and SSI? You really need to consider it, and we'll even help you with the paper work. You need to understand and accept that you may not be able to go back to work for a while. Consider this a vacation.

Vacation???

This is NO VACATION! WHERE THE HELL IS THE FUN IN ANY OF THIS?

I feel like if I applied for any of this, I'll be accepting failure. Not that there is anything wrong with financial/medical assistance. However, I feel if I applied for Medicare & SSI, it would mean that the doctor's were correct, and I am not willing to accept the fact that I will not be working. I have no intention on being unemployed much longer...but how am I going to pull this off?
It seems as if the longer I stay home, the worse I get. I can't do this! I'll take the damn pills...but I wanna work while taking them. The purpose of me seeking treatment is so that I can go back to work...
STAY FOCUSED DOC! UNEMPLOYMENT IS SOOO NOT FOR ME!