More Pissed Today Than Yesterday

I would love to say it's just me, but I know it's not. But then again....you tell me...

I woke up early on Friday, with much excitement because I knew what was about to happen. My life was about to begin...again.. I walked over to the clinic for my 10AM appointment. I made it there with 5 minutes to spare, and unmedicated. I didn't feel it necessary to take my meds as I was only going to be there for a few minutes. I was only going there to pick up my new meds. I get there and inform the man at the front desk that I was there to see the doctor. Why they have someone who is worse condition than I am working the front desk I'll never know. Why did I have to repeat and spell who I was and who my business was with four times? Already, they are trying me! I sat down, and waited. Looked at the time on my cell and realized it was 10:30AM, and no one has yet to come and say BOO to me! I walked over to the front desk and asked, does the doctor even know that I'm here?n He wasn't sure...WHAT??? I CHECKED IN WITH YOU...HOW ARE YOU NOT SURE?!?! He pages into the back office and says he doesn't know where the doctor is, there is nothing he can do, all I can do is sit and wait. THIS IS NOT GOING WELL!! I waited for another 15 minutes when the doctor finally comes out and yells out my last name. It's about damn time. I get up and look around...where is she? She yelled my name and then disappeared into her office, as I, like an asshole, stand there not understanding what just happened, and where to go. The man at the front desk says go back to her office. Where is that? I've only been back there once, and I was being guided that time. After taking the long route to her office, I finally arrive at her office, clearly ANNOYED. She asked me to come in and have a seat. Ok. Then she hands me 2 bottles of meds. Let's recap...
I take....

*Concerta - 18mg
*Concerta - 27mg
*Ritalin - 5mg
*Celexa - 20mg
*Lunesta - 2mg

Now, even if I was stupid, I can clearly see that 3 bottles are missing. WHY IS THIS?!?

She says to me that the pharmacy didn't approve my Concerta because I was using Ritalin and it's the same thing. And they don't prescribe Lunesta. WHAT, WHAT?!?!

Ok, so if your not using these meds, then you probably don't understand where I'm going with this, so let me explain.
Concerta and Ritalin are not the same thing per say. Yes they have the same effects, however, Concerta lasts for 8-10hours and Ritalin lasts for 3-5hours.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
No?
Ok, how about this scenario...
When I'm working....I wake up at 6am. I do my morning duties that usually takes about 45 minutes. I take Concerta at around 7am.It starts to work within the first 30 minutes. It lasts anywhere from 8-10 hours...so we'll say 9 hours...9 hours later is 3pm. At 3pm, Concerta is done working so how will I make it through the rest of the day? Well, this is when I would take a Ritalin. It lasts anywhere from 3-5 hours...so we'll say 4 hours...4 hours later is 7pm. By this time, my day is over. When I get home, I take about an hour or two to settle down, eat, shower, blog, and prepare for bed. Then I take a Lunesta, which gives me, at the very least, a full 8-9 hours of sleep. If I went to beds around 9 or 10pm...I'd wake up around 6am and go through all of the motions again.

So, what is the problem you ask?

I was told that I wasn't getting both the Concerta and Ritalin. Instead, I can take more than one Ritalin a day. So, what she is saying is she wants me to pop a pill, minimum, of 4 times a day. 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm...and these are on normal days, forget if I want to hang out with my boyfriend, friends, or family after work. Who can remember to do this? And it takes at least 30 minutes to work, and over lapping is the same as not taking any...so in the middle of this, if someone pisses me off and I flip out, and throw something at them, I'll be at fault? In other words you're trying to make me a Ritalin junkie? That also means that I'll be back EVERY 10 DAYS for a refill. And, this makes sense how?
As for the Lunesta, she wants to give me Ambien instead. Ok, what's the difference? Not sure, and she's not either...And if you were planning on doing that, why is Ambien not amongst the bottles that you are handing me? What was I given, 4 pills...not a months worth...just 4 pills. Why? Because I have to see which FUCKING milligram works for me.

I'VE ALREADY TRIED OUT FOR THE GUINEA PIG PART! BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!! DON'T WANNA DO IT ANYMORE!!!

I took the fucking Ambien last night. Ask me what happened...go ahead, ask....I took it, it made me sleepy, I fell asleep, AND WOKE UP 3 HOURS LATER!!!! WHAT IS THIS SHIT?!?!?!?

She actually had the nerve to ask me to calm down when she was feeding me this bullshit. I had images of installing her new computer monitor into her fucking head!!

My thoughts...
Why didn't she call me to tell me that I wasn't going to be getting the same meds? At least let me know before I get there so I can come calm, semi-prepared, and semi-rational. Why was I promised that I was going to be getting the same meds? Don't make promises you can't keep? If I can tell you, and you can confirm with my other doctors that the cocktail of meds that I had worked....why can't you just give me that instead of making me a fucking guinea pig...AGAIN!? They must want me to flip out!!!! I'm requesting a new pdoc, this bitch doesn't know what she's doing!! Maybe she's good for people who have no clue as to what they should be taking...but she's not good for me!