These Are My Confessions
If I’ve applied for 200 jobs, 150 have replied, I’ve set up 75 interviews, showed up for 0, offered approx. 30, turned down 30.
I have no idea what I’m doing at this very moment.
My recent passions are writing and volunteer work.
I will turn down all job offers unless it’s for a cause (nonprofit).
The only chance on me taking any other job offer is if I see I’m getting worse.
I AM GETTING WORSE!
I think about my baby Harmony and I cry.
I think about ANYTHING AT ALL, and I cry!
I love clothes and shoes, but would rather be barefoot and naked.
I have friends, but always fell alone.
I am jealous of people who have the ability to get pregnant.
Life’s frustration, and the inability to understand simple things keep me depressed.
My brain activity exceeds “normal” humans, which is a gift and a curse!
Dark hair on my head is depressing.
I’m terrified of all bugs/insects, including butterflies.
I don’t rest unless I am sleeping with someone.
I sleep with a nightlight. I only use them when I’m alone.
The minimum amount of times I shower a day is twice…I make it an effort to take at least 3.
I don’t understand how people can still use bar soap in this day and age. You should only use liquid soap.
Bar soap makes my skin dry and itchy.
I have 4 ½ towers of shoe boxes in my bedroom, I haven’t worn half of them.
I don’t sleep underneath my covers. I sleep on top of them with 2 blankets.
I sleep this way all year round, including summer.
I’d rather text than speak on the phone.
I act tough, but am afraid of everything, but will wild out on anyone!
Fear has held me back from alot of GREAT opportunities.
I need HELP, and for the first time ever..I've asked for help, but no one is helping me.
I have no idea what I’m doing at this very moment.
My recent passions are writing and volunteer work.
I will turn down all job offers unless it’s for a cause (nonprofit).
The only chance on me taking any other job offer is if I see I’m getting worse.
I AM GETTING WORSE!
I think about my baby Harmony and I cry.
I think about ANYTHING AT ALL, and I cry!
I love clothes and shoes, but would rather be barefoot and naked.
I have friends, but always fell alone.
I am jealous of people who have the ability to get pregnant.
Life’s frustration, and the inability to understand simple things keep me depressed.
My brain activity exceeds “normal” humans, which is a gift and a curse!
Dark hair on my head is depressing.
I’m terrified of all bugs/insects, including butterflies.
I don’t rest unless I am sleeping with someone.
I sleep with a nightlight. I only use them when I’m alone.
The minimum amount of times I shower a day is twice…I make it an effort to take at least 3.
I don’t understand how people can still use bar soap in this day and age. You should only use liquid soap.
Bar soap makes my skin dry and itchy.
I have 4 ½ towers of shoe boxes in my bedroom, I haven’t worn half of them.
I don’t sleep underneath my covers. I sleep on top of them with 2 blankets.
I sleep this way all year round, including summer.
I’d rather text than speak on the phone.
I act tough, but am afraid of everything, but will wild out on anyone!
Fear has held me back from alot of GREAT opportunities.
I need HELP, and for the first time ever..I've asked for help, but no one is helping me.
1 Other Thoughts:
Amber, you are not alone anymore. I'm here and willing to help you get better. I am mentally ill and for the past 2 years I have accepted it and I'm trying new coping skill and some have help me grow as a person. I remember the time when I could go out of my house without wanted to hurt all the pregnant woman or thinking about stilling a newborn baby from a stroller, cause I wanted one of my own and after the first one I still had those feeling cause I could get pregnant again. And did all the trick in the book. Now with 2 kids, I wish I didn't have them sometime. Don't get me wrong, I adore both of them and my 2 stepsons as well, but someday I wish I could have a few hours all to myself. Just going to the washroom or taking a bath is something hard for me, when the don't come in they wait for me at the door. Talk about privacy!! As for the job, it seems you are not ready right now. When you are I'm sure you will see a difference in your attitude and self-confidence. Hang in there hon! for now I'm sending you lots of hugs. xxx
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